Okonomiyaki and Whiskey
by Kuragari no Oshiego
Summary: Ranma and Akane have been married for three years. One night a familiar misunderstanding ends with Ranma sailing through the skies of Nerima. He lands outside an old friend's restaurant and they being to chat over okonomiyaki and whiskey.


**Okonomiyaki and Whiskey**

My wife plops something down in front of me. It's supposed to be Korean barbecue but if she hadn't told me before hand, I never would have guessed. The meat is charred pure black and the sauce is gelatinous. I know the vegetables are fresh, at least, since I'd picked them up from the market and chopped them up myself. Akane had glowered a little at me for that one but I managed to convince her that I was just being helpful. She resents that I've become such a good cook. I'd hardly had a choice, though. Six months after me and Akane had finally tied the knot, Kasumi announced that she was moving to Kyoto to get married herself. Apparently, she had been exchanging letters with a man from her high school class. Once Akane and Nabiki graduated, Kasumi felt free to pursue her own life. Me and Akane were thrilled for her but the Tendo patriarch had sobbed for days.

Akane, who had always wanted to be like her big sister—despite being the complete opposite in both temperament and ability—had tried to step into the role. So, for my part, it was either learn how to cook or eat nothing but instant ramen for the rest of my life. Once Ukyo introduced me to _Iron_ _Chef_ , I even started to get into it a little. Me and Akane have been married for three years now and I've cooked ninety percent of our meals. It even makes sense for it work that way. She is a full-time college student while I teach a three hour martial arts class on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Still, the woman gets a wild hair every once in a while to prove to me that she knows how to cook.

Hence, the Korean barbecue that looked so unappetizing. I carefully pick up a floret of broccoli, not quite ready to test the meat yet, and inspect it closely. Why _is_ the sauce so thick? A closer look also reveals that the specks I'd believed were sesame seeds are definitely not. I can't identify them. My stomach knots up. I have a recurring fear that Akane will mistake rat poison for something and finally do me in with her cooking.

"Ranma…" Akane says in a very dangerous tone.

"Just…admiring the consistency of the sauce," I say with a nervous laugh. Praying to my ancestors to see me through this, I plop the floret into my mouth. Before I can even chew, my eyes pop open and I spit the thing out, choking and coughing. It bounces off the table with considerable force and sails across the room with the sauce clinging to it quite unnaturally. It had tasted almost exactly like burnt rubber. I didn't understand how that was even possible.

Akane glances from me to the broccoli and back. For a moment, I am afraid that she is going to hit me but it is the table that receives her fist instead. A wide cracks spreads out from where she hits and I frown. I'm going to have to repair that tomorrow. "Damn it!" Akane cries. "Why is this so hard for me?!"

Stealthily, I pull out a powerful cinnamon mint and pop it into my mouth. A little survival trick I learned to survive these nights. "I don't know," I sigh. I really don't. How anybody could be this awful a cook is beyond me. "Maybe you suffered some kind of brain damage when you were young? Ever remember your old man hitting you especially hard during a sparring session?" The moment the words are out of my mouth, I wish I could have them back. The marriage counselor that Akane drags me to every week said the most important thing I could do would be to think before I speak. Like I didn't already know that. Talk about brain damage. Sometimes I thought that was the only explanation for my complete lack of a filter.

Akane snatches up the bowl of barbecue and upends it on my head. I don't even try to move out of the way. "You jerk!" she screams. "How could you…how could you say that…" The rage melts away from her and is replaced by something even worse. Tears. I feel lower than pond scum as two tears make tracks down her cheeks. "I tried my best."

"Akane…" I say, struggling for words. Why is it so easy for me to hurt her with words but so damn hard for me to comfort her with them? Before I can think of anything, she spins away and flees. I sigh. I know I should go after her but I'm too tired. She'll calm down and come back. I'll get down on my knees and apologize for being such a thoughtless jerk. It's all very routine by now. In the meantime, I need to clean up. The mess in the dining room will have to wait until I get this stuff off me. A sudden, intense fear hits me and I wonder what this crap is doing to my hair and skin. I hurry to the bathroom and quickly scrub up.

My shirt is covered in the sauce so I emerge from the furo in just my black trousers, my hair gathered in a loose ponytail since I had to unbraid it and wash it thoroughly. At the bottom of the stairs, I run into Nabiki. She is sitting on the bottom step, dressed in a tank-top and short shorts than leave very little to the imagination. It is not hard to guess that she is drunk. Of the Tendo sisters, Nabiki is the most difficult for me to understand. She is clearly the smartest one in the family. She's a senior in college, now, getting her bachelor's in business administration. I knew that she had a perfect test record and was looking at graduating as valedictorian of her class. Yet she still came home once or twice a week from some party, completely wasted. I was afraid she was using harder stuff than alcohol but didn't have the guts to confront her about it.

"Yo, Ranchan!" Nabiki shouts when she sees me. I flinch at her use of Ukyo's nickname for me. "Be a good horse and help me up the stairs, willya?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say with a sigh. I scoop Nabiki up in my arms and start climbing the stairs.

"Whoa," Nabiki says and then she covers her mouth and burps and looks like she might be preparing to do even worse.

"Ew, Nabiki. Don't vomit on me!" I hold her away from by body a little just in case.

"It's okay, I got it, I got," Nabiki says much too cheerfully. She burps again and blinks. "Nope. I'm all good. Just a little vertigo. I don't spend my time jumping around on rooftops," she continues, waving her hands for emphasis. I set her down outside her room but she continues clinging to me, arms around my neck. "Oh, man," she mumbles, resting her forehead on my shoulder. I can smell the booze wafting off her and feel the heat from her sweat-soaked brow.

"Are you going to be alright, Nabiki?" I ask with genuine concern. I've never been that close with the mercenary woman but she is a part of my family now.

Nabiki gathers herself and takes a step back, looking up into my eyes. "I'll live." She pats my cheek. "Thanks for the ride." Her hand lingers on my cheek and she continues staring into my eyes.

Cold pinpricks of sweat start to break out on my skin. "W-what are you doing?"

"Just thinking," she says with a sigh. "Maybe I made a mistake. It's too bad you didn't show up looking like this. I might have taken you for myself. The way Akane complains about you…she clearly doesn't know a good thing when she has it." Then Nabiki grins the kind of predatory grin that's going to make rival executives wet their pants someday. "Though she has admitted that you know what you're doing in the sack." The heat of her grin goes up a notch. "Big boy."

I nervously but gently push Nabiki's hand away from my face. "I think you need to go to bed now," I say as firmly as I can. Nabiki instead drifts her hand down so it is running down my bare chest. I shiver. "These muscles," she coos. "You make the boys from the swim team look like a gaggle of nerds." I hate when Nabiki does this kind of thing. She knows how nervous I get around girls, even now.

"S-stop it, Nabiki. Go to b-bed," I manage to get out. My throat has gone dry.

"Can I get a goodnight kiss?" she asks, with a little giggle. She goes up on her tiptoes and leans in. And I do what I always do in such situations. Make a random sound of protest in my throat and freeze up.

And then I get some cold water thrown in my face. Literally. In a second, I've gone from looking down at Nabiki to looking up at her. "What are you to _girls_ doing?" Akane shrieks. I sigh. Of course she is here. The woman seems to have some kind of supernatural ability to walk in on me at the worst possible moment. I want to explain but I know it is pointless. Akane knows exactly what happened already. Once she cools down, it will occur to her that it was just Nabiki teasing me. At the moment, though, she's consumed by her jealous anger. The councilor told her to work on that too. It's going about as well as me thinking before I speak.

The boot comes. I could dodge it but I don't. I never do. Instead, I adjust my body so that I don't get hurt and accept Akane's anger. The next thing I know, I'm crashing through a wall and sailing out into the sky over Nerima. I glance back at the hole with another sigh. That's two projects on my plate for tomorrow. The glance also brings by rather bountiful bust into sight. That's right. I'm a girl now. Without a shirt. Awesome. I adjust my pants to fit my shorter legs with the ease of long practice and then stare up at the stars.

 _Girls_ she said. What are you two _girls_ doing? That's disappointing. I'd thought we'd made progress on that front recently. With my sheltered upbringing, I'd never considered it to be that strange that Akane had such an antipathy to showing me any affection when I was in my cursed form. Girls and boys went together and anything else was perverse, right? That little preconception had been pierced a bit during my last two years of high school but it had taken one of my students, who 'swung that way,' to explain to me that Akane's feelings about my other half might be a little more complicated than I'd thought. I'd brushed off the idea at first, thinking it was ridiculous. But once the seed was in my head, I couldn't stop noticing her reactions to me in my girl body.

It had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done, working up the courage to confront Akane about it. She freaked out. Of course. One of our worst fights ever. I kept pressing, though, even as my wife attacked me both physically and psychologically. I'd decided that we need to come to some kind of peace about me being both genders, though, because I knew by that point that it wasn't going away. The curse is a curse and part of it is making sure I never cure it. I tried countless times to fix myself with the Nannichuan but each time some bizarre chance of fate would stop me. Eventually, it was pounded into even my stubborn skull that there would be no cure. I made peace with it and I thought Akane was starting to come around. We'd even been experimenting in the bedroom some. It was a bit tortuous for me but I could tell Akane enjoyed it when she allowed herself to relax.

And yet, _what are you two_ girls _doing_. Sometimes I wondered if either of us would ever get be able to grow past our flaws. Maybe we were just broken.

I finally reach the pinnacle of my flight and start to come down. I glance at where I am and shrug. Still in town at least. Once a rooftop starts closing in, I twist my body around and tuck into a roll, touching down lightly. It was a good thing I knew how to do that, otherwise we'd be paying half the town repair fees. Then a shingle shifts under my bare foot and I slip, crashing down and tumbling head over heels over the side of the building. I land hard on my back. What a lovely night. I don't stir from my spot on the ground. I'm not hurt, just tired.

"Ranma," says a familiar voice, laced with astonishment and concern. "Are you alright?"

I turn my head slightly and see Ukyo. She's standing in front of her okonomiyaki restaurant, _Ucchan's_ , holding a broom and a dustpan. Her long brown hair is done up in a ponytail with her customary white bow and she is wearing a simple black tube top and black capris. She hasn't been wearing the old tunic and tights too often recently.

"Yo, Ucchan," I say with a small smile. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"

Ukyo snorts. "Fighting with Akane again?"

"Well, she decided to cook tonight," I explain. "It was really only a matter of time."

The chef shudders in revulsion. "What did she try and make?"

"Korean barbecue. It was more like burnt shreds of tire in a soy sauce gelatin." I glance at _Ucchan's_ and see that there is a 'closed' sign on the door. Akane hadn't even let me have a mid-afternoon snack because she didn't want me 'spoiling my appetite.' The smells of okonomiyaki wafting from the restaurant are making my mouth water. "Say, Ucchan, I don't suppose…"

"You could get a free dinner?" Ukyo says with a grin. "Yeah, come on in, honey. Before you get arrested for indecent exposure."

"Alright!" I crow, excited about something for the first time all night. I jump to my feet and follow Ukyo inside. Her little okonomiyaki place had actually become quite the hotspot in the last few years. Ukyo attended college now so her restaurant kept irregular hours. It had only made the allure of her food greater. Ukyo had shown me with both pride and some mystification that there was an entire website dedicated to alerting people when _Ucchan's_ was open. Because of it, the place was swamped about fifteen minutes after she opened, whenever she decided to do so. _Ucchan's_ was even rated in some of the local tour guides.

Ukyo moves behind her grill and fires it up. I take my seat on my customary stool. After a moment, Ukyo disappears into the back and comes out with a glass of warm water and a black tank-top. She thrusts them at me. "Here. I'm sick of looking at those cans of yours. Makin' me jealous."

I laugh and splash myself with water. My body grows longer and taller, boobs disappear and other things reappear, hair shifts from red to black. "Better?" I ask.

She gives me a smoky look that makes me very aware that I have no shirt on. "Much." I tug on the tank-top. It's a bit snug. Ukyo begins grilling up an okonomiyaki and I struggle to come up with something to say. I haven't seen her that much lately, even though she's the closest thing I have to a best friend. Ryoga doesn't count, since I could never talk about anything serious with him. Plus, after Akane found out about the whole 'P-chan' thing, Ryoga doesn't wander into town that much anymore. Or he skips town as soon as he figures out where he is. Whatever Akane said to him after she discovered his secret nearly destroyed him. I'd had to pretend to be that dumbass's aunt for a week just to make sure he didn't kill himself. Which actually worked out, since Akane wouldn't speak to me for a week.

I refocus my mind on Ucchan, since the silence is starting to feel awkward. We'd been close during high school but once I married Akane, things changed. Ukyo didn't start avoiding me exactly but she didn't seek me out either. Akane wasn't cruel enough to forbid me from seeing my friend but she clearly wasn't happy about it. So I stopped seeking her out too. I knew that she attended the same college as Akane. They'd even worked on a project together a few months ago. I had hoped that it would lead to Ukyo becoming a bigger part of my life again but it didn't work out that way. She hadn't even visited the Tendo Dojo once.

"So, Ranma," Ukyo begins, to my relief and also a little dismay. I can't remember when she stopped calling me 'Ranchan' but it has been a while. "I saw you on TV a few weeks ago. Fighting in that big tournament at the Budokan. It was kind of funny seeing you fight in a simple karate tournament, knowing what you are capable of."

I rub the back of my neck. "Nabiki thought it would be a good idea," I mumble. She hadn't been wrong. It had been no problem for me to win the national tournament and it spurred a great deal of interest in the dojo. I'd been flooded with requests for training and was considering opening the dojo on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I hadn't enjoyed a second of the tournament, though. The fighters in that tournament treated martial arts as a sport. None of them had been in the kind of struggle where their art was the only thing that kept them alive. I'd felt like a cheat and a fraud, fighting in that tournament. Again, on Nabiki's advice, I'd severely reined in my ability so the fights would look legitimate. It made me feel like I was toying with them. That was fun to do with Ryoga, who could actually clobber me if I screwed up. Those men couldn't have hurt me if their very lives depended on it.

Ukyo flips the okonomiyaki at me and I catch it easily, juggling it a couple of times until it cools down. I'm vaguely disappointed to note that there is no little drawing or message on it. I take a bite and chew thoughtfully. It is delicious as always. "Say, Ukyo," I say slowly. "Do you still like cooking okonomiyaki?"

Ukyo leans against her grill and crosses her arms under her breasts. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well, you've done it your entire life right? You were a master when you were sixteen. Do you ever wonder if you've taken it as far as you can?" Ukyo is watching me with narrowed eyes and part of me wants to stop talking but I can't halt the words. "When you are cooking a seafood okonomiyaki for a student, do you ever consider it a waste? I mean, you could probably cook some deluxe okonomiyaki that would knock the socks off of some high-class food critic."

Ukyo is silent for a moment after I finally manage to shut up. Then she sighs. "Boy, you're a real barrel of laughs tonight, aintcha, honey?" She reaches under the bar and pulls out a green bottle with a gold label covered in English letters. I don't know what they say. They made me take English to get my high-school degree but I promptly forgot it all when I graduated. She fills a short glass with amber liquid and then raises an eyebrow at me. "You want one?"

I don't drink that often but it sounds good right now. I nod and she passes me the glass. The whiskey burns going down but I kind of like it. It goes well with the taste of the okonomiyaki and I silently salute Ukyo's skills as a chef. Ukyo belts her first one and then refills both our glasses. "So I gather by your questions that you're feeling a little dissatisfied beating up on karate boys and showing housewives and bored teenagers the basics?" I wince at her blunt question. It's not exactly fair either. Some of the students I have are very serious. But what can I really teach them when I only have a few hours a week? I drain the second shot of whiskey and Ucchan promptly refills it.

Instead of answering her question directly, I ask, "Do you ever miss high school?"

Ukyo takes a sip before answering. "You mean when something insane would happen to us every other week?" I nod. Back then, I remember that all I wanted was a little peace and quiet. After high school, after me and Akane got hitched, it finally happened. Cologne dragged Shampoo kicking and screaming back to China. Mousse followed, of course. The P-chan revelation seemed to drain Ryoga of whatever was fueling him to constantly come after me. Kodachi became infatuated with some other poor fool. Kuno became the kendo champion of a prominent university and then became embroiled in a sexual harassment scandal. I left Hinako and that looney toon of a principle behind at Furinkan. The old freak Happosai causes trouble now and again but that's about it.

I look up at Ukyo, who is staring into her glass and swirling the liquid around. Besides the Tendos, she's really the only person left from that chaotic time of my life. All the others left with some kind of bang or whimper but there was never any confrontation with her. Just a slowly widening gap. "Do you miss it?" I press.

Ucchan takes a gulp of her whiskey. "I have…complicated feelings about high school," she says, not meeting my eyes. "What's with all the questions anyway?"

Why, indeed? I suddenly feel embarrassed about it all. I haven't talked to Ukyo in weeks and I'm harassing her with all my stupid doubts. The fact is, though, I have nobody else. My marriage is such a house of cards that I dare not add anything more to it. My folks have had this exact life set out for me since before I was born. How could I tell them that I wasn't satisfied? Who else could I talk to? Everyone was gone except for Nabiki and I would never willingly reveal a secret to her. That left Ukyo. And I felt like a fool bring this up with her. I know how she felt about me. Feels, maybe. It's been a long time but this was the same person who nursed a grudge against me for a decade and promptly reversed course the moment I called her 'cute.'

There was no telling how she would react if I suggested that I wasn't happy with my life. She hasn't dated any other men, so far as I know. I think Akane would have told me if she'd seen Ukyo with another man. Secretly, it makes me a little happy that I'm the only man she's ever loved. And that feeling, in turn, makes me despise myself. I should want her to be happy with another man. I think I could be, sometimes, but it's hard to imagine. I shake my head and hold out my glass. "It's nothing," I say. "I'm just being stupid." I take a sip. "Do you remember that fool Chance King?" I ask with a forced laugh.

"I remember that you have no poker face," Ukyo says, not smiling.

I wince. Nice shot, Ucchan. "Do you ever wonder what happened to that jerk?" I persist.

Ukyo's eyebrows rise. "You mean you don't know?" I shake my head. Ucchan laughs. "Wait here." She dashes upstairs and comes back with a bulky black laptop.

I whistle. "You have a laptop?"

Ukyo nods. "I bought it a couple months ago."

"Cool." Akane is currently saving for a computer but right now she was having to use the University's lab.

Ukyo sits down on the stool next to me and taps away on her laptop for a few moments. Then she spins it around and says, "Check it out!" It's a website for _Chance_ _King's_ _Games_ _Palace_. I glace through it, laughing at the pictures of that dork showing off all the games. Ucchan joins me, scrolling through the site.

"Do-do you think," I ask between guffaws, "that he's still ripping off little kids? I might have to go kick his ass again."

Ukyo wipes a tear from her eye. "I thought the same thing but I think he's on the up and up this time. Maybe his humiliating defeat at your hands finally set him on the straight and narrow," Ukyo says and then rolls her eyes.

"Hey," I say, trying to be indignant but not managing to wipe away my smile. "That was a tough battle. I had to bring all my skill to bear on that one." I can't help but crack up at the end of that sentence. I've been in some stupid battles in my life but that one is definitely up there. Ucchan laughs with me, reaching across the grill to grab the whisky and pouring us both another healthy dose. The tension I always seem to be carrying around with me melts away a little. Damn but I did miss Ucchan. Old 'bread-feud' Ryoga never could unwind enough to laugh about that past.

Ukyo and I continue to swap stories, steadily making our way through the bottle. I nearly choke and die when she tells me that Tsubasa Kurenai had shown up again determined to win her heart and instead promptly fell in love with Konatsu. The two boys had run away together, both convinced that the other was a girl. This was nearly a year ago, so they must have figured things out by now. Yet neither one had come back. I wonder what the hell happened. Tsubasa, for one, had made it very clear to me that he was _not_ interested in other men.

I return the favor and have Ucchan howling so hard that she falls off her stool when I tell her about the time I found Hikaru Gosunkugi in our attic, painting some kind of spell with chicken blood. It really hadn't been that funny at the time, walking in on that mental patient covered in feathers and viscera. I'd had a hell of time cleaning up all those dead chickens without Akane and Nabiki finding out. Seemed like a shame to throwing the chickens out but I had no idea what kind of freaky things he'd been doing with them. I still get a chill every time I have to go up into the attic.

Eventually we both end up sitting on the floor across from each other. The whiskey is gone but Ukyo fetched us both a few beers. I crush a can and throw it across the room into a trash can with easy accuracy. "So, Ucchan. Did you ever try and make another batch of that special okonomiyaki sauce?"

The good humor drains from Ukyo's face and she looks away. "No."

"Why not?" I ask, cracking open another beer. "I kinda wanted to taste the actual secret sauce someday."

"It would only taste bitter," she says, still not looking at me.

"What are you talking about, Ucchan?" I ask, oblivious. "I told you that I was the one who made that sauce. I'm sure that if you made it, it would come out perfect."

"It probably would," she concedes. "But I don't want to make it."

"Why?"

"Because of what happened last time."

I scratch my cheek, feeling confused. "Well, I think that I'm mature enough now not to open it early and ruin it again."

"God, Ranchan, you're always such an idiot!" Ukyo snaps. My heart skips a beat when she calls me 'Ranchan.' "I'm talking about the promise." She draws up her knees so they are against her chest and rests her forehead against them, hiding her face. "When I first tasted the sauce, I was devastated that I could make something so awful. When I remembered that dumb promise you made me, I felt ten times worse." I scratch the back of my head, remembering how insanely guilty I felt about the whole thing. "But when you kept insisting that it was delicious…" Ukyo continues. "Just for a little while, I honestly thought that you felt about me…the same way that I feel about you…"

"Oh." I try desperately to think of something to say but there is nothing. I've known how much Ukyo cares about me for a long time now but it still startles me how a few words or actions from me had so much power over her. Ukyo has always been so tough and driven and energetic that it's hard for me really think of her as somebody who could be so easily hurt. It was the same way with Akane. At least with Shampoo and Kodachi, I don't think I really gave them any reason to hope I would come around. Can I honestly say the same with Ukyo? How many times did she interpret a gesture of friendship as a sign that maybe I liked her the way she liked me?

Ukyo leans backward, bracing herself on her hands and starring up at the ceiling. "You asked me before if I still liked cooking okonomiyaki."

"Y-yeah."

"I'm not sure I do anymore. Some days, I feel the old fire and I can run _Ucchan's_ for twelve hours straight. A lot of times, though, I can't even find the energy to open up."

"Well, you're busy with college now…" I half-heartedly suggest.

Ukyo snorts and flops backward so she is lying on her back. "It's a time killer, Ranma. I don't need all those phony business administration courses to tell me how to run my restaurant. I make enough to support myself, even opening irregularly. If I quit college and opened up the restaurant full time I'd easily earn enough to find myself a separate home, move into a bigger location…"

"So why don't you?"

"I don't know. I think that I should. When I think about it, though, I just feel…empty."

Empty. The word slices through me. "I know how you feel," I say, astonished.

"How could you?" Ukyo leans up and looks at me, clear doubt on her face. "You have everything you ever wanted."

"I could say the same about you," I fire back.

"Not everything," she says pointedly.

I wince. That had been a dumb thing to say. "I do understand, though, Ucchan. You said it yourself. I am using my talents to teach schoolboys and housewives some of the rudiments of my art. Akane says its important. I'm teaching them how to defend themselves. But, I…I don't know," I say, shaking my head, feeling selfish and guilty.

"Are you still improving yourself as a martial artist?" Ukyo asks.

"I try, when I have time," I say with a sigh. "It gets lost sometimes. I have to cook, keep the house clean and repaired, prepare and give my lessons. I also don't have anybody to spar with." The idiot panda that raised me is the only one in town even close to me in ability but he is only getting fatter and more indolent now that he is back in the care of my mother. "Sometimes I'm afraid that the eighteen year-old me could kick the current me's ass." Ukyo laughs. "I'm serious!" I shout. "All those crazy battles during high-school honed me until I was razor-sharp. Now I feel like I am going to rust."

Ukyo frowns. "I see what you mean."

"The worst part…" I whisper, fiddling with my beer can. "The worst part is, I am starting to understand my father."

Ukyo raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"I always hated him for the way he took me away from mom so that we could live on the road for my entire childhood. I didn't understand it. I think I do now. The thought of leaving everything behind and just living, relying on my guts and fists to survive, is so tempting. Working every day to become the greatest martial artist I could be. If I had a son with me, to teach my life's work to, it would be even better. I hope I'm not so cruel that I could tear a child from their mother but…I understand why he did it. That scares me."

Ukyo's eyes are wide. "Damn, Ranma."

I look away. "I know. I'm terrible."

"No. I just…had no idea you were feeling this way." I freeze up a little at that. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. I don't want to make her think she has hope of breaking me and Akane up again. It felt so good to get that all off my chest though. Who else was I going to tell?

"Well, what about you?" I say trying to deflect the conversation back toward her. "Why do you think you've lost your passion for okonomiyaki?"

"That's easy." Ukyo gets to her feet and stumbles, managing to catch herself on a stool. Her long brown hair hangs in front of her face like a veil. "I thought I would be cooking for more than just myself by now. But the only boy I ever liked didn't like me back."

"Ukyo…" I sigh and also get up, more carefully than Ukyo. "There are better guys than me out there…"

"Shut up, Ranma."

"You're still young. You're great, Ucchan. I know you'll find someone to make you happy."

"Shut up, Ranma."

I scratch the back of my head. "Maybe…maybe I should be on my way." How long have I been here, anyway? Akane is going to kill me.

Ukyo looks up at me. "Or you could stay."

I groan. "Ucchan, you know I can't…"

"J-just for one night." I shake my head. Ukyo laughs bitterly. "No, that's too much to ask, isn't it? One night, when you've dominated my entire life."

"Hey," I say, getting a little angry. "I never asked for any of that. It was my stupid father who swindled you out of your dowry."

"I know but…" Ukyo stares at me, unshed tears in her big, dark eyes, completely vulnerable. I wasn't lying when I said I thought she was cute. But she has never been cuter than she is at this exact second. "Shouldn't you still take responsibility?"

"I…" Ukyo moves toward me. She wraps her arms around my neck and stands on tiptoe. And I do what I always do. I freeze. Her lips meet mine. The kiss is clumsy and I honestly wonder if it is her first. It is also cute and sweet and before I quite know what I am doing, I am kissing her back. My arms wrap around her and it feels good. I feel comfortable, despite the rational part of my brain screaming that I should feel the exact opposite. I just told her every fear I've had bottled inside me for months now. Years. And she accepted it and came on to me for the first time since high-school.

Ukyo tugs me backwards and we stumble up the stairs, still kissing except of brief moments to breathe. When I tug her top off, she blushes like a blast furnace. She is incredibly adorable, my Ucchan. I'm sure now that his is her first time but she is eager and proactive. So unlike Akane the first time. I am astonished when she goes down on me without a word. I can barely get Akane to do that, even now. When I return the favor, she clasps her hands over her face but I know she's enjoying based on the noises she is making. It hurts when I enter her. There is no blood but I can tell. She never asks me to stop or slow down, though, instead raining kisses all over my face and chest. I finish inside her and fall asleep next to her, exhausted and content.

My head is in splitting pain when I wake up, my stomach is roiling and I desperately need some water. But I also don't want to move. When was the last time I drank like that? What was I thinking? I turn my head and see Ukyo dozing next to me, naked as the day she was born. My eyes go wide and a sit up too fast. My head spins and I think I'm going to barf for a second. So that actually did happen, then. Shit. What _was_ I thinking? How could I do this? What do I do now? Will Ukyo keep quiet about it? Should I keep quiet about it? Can I really live with myself if I don't tell Akane about this? What will she do if she finds out? How could I do this to her? The questions spin through my head one after another without answer and my nausea seems to grow exponentially.

Then I notice something out of the corner of my eye that makes most of those questions moot. Akane. Kneeling down on the tatami near the door to the room. Her face is absolutely expressionless. Akane, the master of walking in at the absolute worst moment. Of course she would be here now. She couldn't have shown up just when Ukyo kissed me. That would have earned me a mallet to the head and a week of sulking. No, _this_ , this was worst possible moment. There is no hiding what I have done. My self-loathing ratchets up another notch at the thought that I am blaming some of this on her, even obliquely.

I can't even imagine what she is feeling now. Then I think of how I would feel if I walked in on her naked with Ryoga. Utter devastation. "Akane…"

There is finally emotion in her dark eyes. A flash of anger. "You don't have the right to speak to me right now." I stay silent, staring into her eyes, my throat starting to thicken. The anger melts away and her shoulders slump. She breaks eye contact, staring down into her lap. "All these years I thought I was so stupid for getting so jealous. I hated myself for losing control whenever I saw one of those girls hanging off you. I couldn't let myself trust you, though, because what if you…I knew it would hurt but not this much…" She looks up at me, tears trickling down her cheeks. "You married me, Ranma. Why? Why would you do this?"

"I…" What can I say? Even I don't know why I did it. Because I'm a coward? Because I am unhappy? Because I'm a bastard, just like my father? Because I can face Ukyo at my lowest while I can only face you at my highest? Because I love her, almost as much as I love you? All those reasons and more. I can't say any of them. None of them will change anything anyway.

Akane gets to her feet. "You can't say anything to me, can you? I'm not sure why you never let me in, Ranma. I hope you can let her in." The she turns and walks away. I want to chase her, I want to call for her to stop, I want to grovel at her feet like a worm. I don't have the right to do any of that. Instead, I sprint to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I start puking my guts out. When I'm finished I flush it down and fill a glass with water from the sink. I take a sip and think that I should be sobbing right down. Instead I feel numb. Like none of this can possibly be happening.

I walk back into Ukyo's room and see that she is awake, sitting up with the blanket tucked up underneath her armpits. "Were you awake?" I ask, knowing the answer already.

She nods. "Did you see her face?" she asks quietly. Then, to my great dismay, she begins sobbing.

I rush over to her, kneeling down next to her. "Shh, Ucchan. It's okay."

"I-I'm a homewrecker," Ukyo manages between sobs. "Akane w-was my friend." I put a hand on her shoulder and she jerks away. "Don't touch me! I'm a s-slut."

"You're not," I say firmly. "Ukyo, you're not." I hug her to me even though she is still struggling. Eventually she collapses into my arms. I pet the back of her head and whisper comfortingly to her. I have to take care of Ucchan. She's the only one who will take me now. The only one who will love me, no matter how much of a bastard and a coward I am. Is that a good or a bad thing? I'm not sure. But it's all I have left.

 **Author's Notes:** Just a little fic that popped into my head when I was re-reading Ranma. I'm honestly not sure if the seed for this came from some idea I had when I was younger or if I read something with a similar premise a in the distant past. It seems very likely that Ranma, especially if his life settled down, would suffer some kind of existential crisis as a young adult. Ukyo has been obsessed with Ranma for most of her life so it is interesting to think about the loss of him causing a similar crisis for her. That's what I wanted to take a look at in this fic. Also, for the record, Ukyo is my favorite character from the manga and I ship the hell out of her and Ranma. Not the happiest way for them to get together but oh well. Thanks everybody!

Kuragari


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